SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Once Upon the Feeling. This is the podcast where we talk about all things growing up. The fun parts, the weird parts, the messy parts, and the magical parts too. I'm your host, Rita, and I'm so glad you're here. Are you ready? Let's dive right in. Today we're talking about friendship. Friends are such an important part of our lives, whether we're kids or grown-ups. Friends make us laugh, we whisper our secrets to them, and we trust they'll keep them safe. They make the world feel lighter and brighter. But just like with brothers, sisters, or cousins, sometimes friendships can get tricky, especially when we don't quite have all the words for how we feel. And that's why today Madelina is here with us to read a special three-part story about friendship problems. And to share a few of her own stories too. Say hi Madelina. Hi. There she is, always ready. Okay, you ready to begin? Alright, let's go.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

Playground problems. Leo is left out. Leo might seem quiet at first, but if you stick around long enough, she'll remember your favorite color, lend you the sharpest pencil, and save you a spot in her sketchbook. At recess, Leo walked over to the black top, her jump rope over one shoulder. Soraya and some other kids were already jumping and laughing, their ropes swinging fast and high. Can I join you? Leo asked, holding her jump rope close. Saraya looked at her and shrugged, adjusting her hair. This game is just for three, she said, with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Oh, Leo said. She tried to smile. Her tummy felt twisty. Her heart felt small. What did I do wrong? Is everyone talking about me? If Soraya doesn't like me, what will everyone else think? Will anyone play with me at recess? She sat on the bench and drew in her sketchbook. Why aren't you playing? he asked, voice quiet. Leo shrugged. They didn't want me to. Marcus furrowed his brow but said nothing, just sat beside her. Back in class, Leo tried to pay attention, but she couldn't stop thinking about recess. Did I mess up something I didn't know about? Why won't anyone play with me? Does this mean they won't come to my birthday party either? That night she told her older brother what happened. You didn't do anything wrong, he said. Some kids just forget how to include others. He nudged her shoulder. Wanna draw together? Leo smiled a little. The next day, Leo stood near the black top again, her jump rope in hand. Marcus looked up and smiled, a real smile. Wanna play? he asked. Leo nodded. Her heart felt a little lighter. It didn't fix the problem with Soraya, but the kindness helped. The end. Playground problems Marcus's choice. Marcus was the kind of kid who didn't say much, but if you looked closely, you'd notice he was always paying attention. Marcus was practicing his jump shot when he saw Leo walking away from Soraya and the other kids at the blacktop. Soraya and the other girls were watching Leo too. She looked sad, like something inside had turned quiet. He looked at Leo sitting alone on the bench. Should I say something? What if Soraya gets mad? What if it makes things worse? He bounced the ball again, thinking hard. He walked over. Why aren't you playing? he asked. Voice low. Leo shrugged. They didn't want me to. Marcus looked down. That's not fair, he said quietly. Back in class, Marcus couldn't focus. He kept thinking about Leo sitting alone. He imagined how it would feel if that were him. At dinner, he told his mom. His mom said, It's hard to speak up, but a small kindness can be a big help. The next day, Marcus saw Leo standing near the blacktop again. Her jump rope was coiled in her hand. He remembered his mom's words. But will it even make a difference? What will Soraya and her friends think? He took a deep breath, walked over, and smiled. Wanna play? he asked. Leo nodded. They took turns jumping rope and showing each other new tricks. Soon another kid joined in. The circle grew The End Playground Problems Soraya Stumble Soraya had a talent for turning jump ropes into parades and hopscotch into runway shows, but emotions weren't always as easy to lead. Soraya liked making up games. She liked choosing teams and making the rules. When she led, she felt important. If I lead the game, I belong, she thought. People notice me. She wasn't a mean kid. She liked helping out her teachers and helping other kids tie their shoelaces. She would always share her snack if someone forgot theirs. But when Leo walked up, holding her jump rope and asked, Can I join you? Saraya felt her stomach twist. What if Leo changes the game? What if they like her more than me? What if I lose all my friends? She smiled even though she didn't feel like it. She said, This game is just for three. Saraya watched Leo walk away. At first she felt in control, but then a prickly feeling grew in her chest. I didn't mean to hurt her, Sarah thought. I just didn't know what to say. After dinner, her cousin asked, Wanna play with me? Saraya said no. He looked down and walked away. She felt that prickly feeling again. She remembered Leo's face. The next day she saw Leo near the blacktop. Leo was laughing with Marcus and another kid, all jumping rope. Saraya felt her cheeks grow warm. She doesn't need me now, she thought. What will she think if I asked to play? What will everyone else think when they see that I didn't already start my own game at recess? But maybe I can still try. Saraya took a deep breath and walked over. Can I play too? she asked, voice barely above a whisper. Leo looked at Marcus. He nodded. Leo smiled and said sure. They took turns jumping and showing off tricks, laughing loudly. Saraya laughed so hard she tripped. It feels good to belong, she thought, even if I don't make the rules. The end. Hello Madelina. Hi. Could you please introduce yourself a little bit to our audience? So I am eleven years old, I'm in sixth grade, and I live in California.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Fantastic. You just read us the three-part playground problems, and I would love to hear your thoughts about which character and what story really resonated with you.

SPEAKER_03 8:05

So I like these stories a lot because they're one of the most common scenarios in almost every friendship.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

And can you see yourself in any one of their shoes?

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Well, I could see myself a lot in Leo's shoes. Well, because in fourth grade I was nine years old and I had these two friends, and they were really close, and they would always play games that were sort of a real life version of video games, and I didn't have a lot of access to that type of thing. And so I felt really left out. I felt alone. I was wondering if if there was anything wrong with me, like why do they get something that I don't? And because they have that something, they can play more games, and because I don't have that type of thing, I get left out.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

So when that happened, what did you do? Who did you talk to?

SPEAKER_03 8:59

So I talked to my mom and my teacher. So my teacher, she started pairing me with different kids for class projects and stuff to try and figure out wit what type of person, what type of friend I was most comfortable with. And so that was really helpful.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

And what did your family do to help you?

SPEAKER_03 9:18

So my mom, she was really understanding. She found me a therapist, and my therapist, her name was Paige, she taught me how to express my feelings, like, hey, I'm feeling left out. Is there a different game we could play where every single one of us knows what to do, how to play it? And so she helped me a lot with that, and she also taught me how to float.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Tell us more. How does one float?

SPEAKER_03 9:47

So floating is basically where if you if there's one group of friends and for some reason they don't want to spend time with you, then you can have another group of friends that you can go to. So floating is where you have multiple circles of friends that you can go to. So that way if one doesn't want to spend time with you, there is a whole other spectrum of options that you can pick from.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Amazing. And now two years later, you're in sixth grade. How is your friendship with your um peers at school?

SPEAKER_03 10:21

It's pretty good. I'm in a class right now with lots of my favorite people, and I think that I'm a lot better at navigating friendships now.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. You're welcome. Thank you for reading the story for us. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

Friendship isn't always easy, and sometimes we get our feelings hurt or things don't go the way we hope. But talking, listening, and trying again can make all the difference. If you enjoyed this episode, tell a friend or two about it. Maybe even listen together. And if you're a grown-up, a quick five-star review wherever you listen really help us keep sharing these stories. And for those of you who would like to take a deeper dive with us, please stay tuned for the Beyond the Story episode coming right up, where I, Rita, will be talking with Paige Howard, a therapist here in Pasadena to talk about how she helps kids navigate these tricky friendship situations. See you next time, and thanks so much for tuning in.